“They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.
6 He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.” –Psalm 125:5-6
The Lord reminded me today, while I was in prayer about this scripture.
He said: “Sometimes if you don’t sow in tears, you will not be able to reap in joy.”
I had been holding in my tears because I didn’t want to give away that I was hurting or that I was weak. It hurts to see my mother and father broken.
looking downward because their ashamed.
Because life dealt them a hand that they just didn’t expect.
their children are caught up in it.
We hate to see them
It brought tears to my eyes.
Bitterness kept trying hold my heart captive and rip into seams.
I couldn’t take it. My heart almost exploded. I was so disappointed. In God. Myself. My world. And my life.
The pain was too real.
Now I understood what the psalmist meant when they wrote: “my reproach returned to my bosom.”
My heart cried.
It was a pain that is beyond physical pain.
It was deep in my soul.
It was the type of pain that rips you apart.
It burned in my heart.
It filled me up and my heart felt like exploding. I kept shaking my head. Grieved. Cursing myself, I kept wondering…saying…
I couldn’t believe that this was happening to me or my family.
I couldn’t believe we were going through this.
God, why aren’t you coming to our rescue?
This pain was too much, it was so real.
The hurt, frustration. betrayal, injustice, the shame, the agony of despair,
burned in my heart and came up into my heart as a bitter cry.
My heart cried out.
Why God, why have You forsaken me?
But I kept it in.
And tucked it away for a later time.
A time when I would be alone with Him. And call out to Him.
And then. Then I would pour out my soul to Him.
I looked up to Heaven and said, these tears are only for you Father. Not because of what Satan did, of what my parents did, or what life did,
But for you alone, God. You only for you do I cry out to you. You only. Only for You.
But for now, I won’t let myself cry.
No, I will cry out to you only some other time. I gotta keep going. I can’t stop to cry. What will crying do for my situation?
So, let me keep walking. One day, I will give God this pain. One day I will cry out to Him.
You are walking in pride.
I can handle it. I will put it away. I don’t have time to deal with this.
I, I, I,
You think He forgot the pain? You think He will let that go? No.
God keeps a careful record of the righteous. What we do, how we do it, and the inner workings of our heart.
In Heaven, there is a scroll.
Not only of our sins and righteous deeds.
But of our everyday walk with God. God keeps a careful record of our lives.
Our past, present, future.
“Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them.”
“Then those who feared the LORD spoke to one another, and the LORD gave attention and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before Him for those who fear the LORD and who esteem His name.”
God knows about it all. He knows what we are going through:
He sees it all.
“Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.”
“Does He not see my ways And number all my steps?
“The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore. ”
“He keeps the paths of judgment, and preserves the way of his saints.”
He sees it all.
Our moments of joy, and utter jubilation. Moments of fear, questions, apprehension, answers to God, and reconciliation. There is a record of our pain, grief, shame, loss, failure….
And there is a record of our tears.
It says in Psalm 56:8,
“You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?” (NASB)
There are some of us whose hearts are weeping rivers before the Lord.
Some of us keep the pain,
Locked up and cast aside.
Our hurts, wounds, pains in our lives– are hidden.
Buried deep, deep inside in your hearts.
We walk around,
Like everything is alright.
When in reality,
We are full of gaping wounds flowing red blood,
Mixed with bitter tears over all that was lost.
I am not hear to glorify pain.
Or justify it.
But I am here to glorify the God who keeps those tears safe in a bottle.
I am here to tell you that The God of the Universe holds your tears in a bottle and keeps them safe.
He carefully watches over you with His Unfailing Love.
He sings over you. He is Faithful and He Loves you.
Even if no one else sees your tears,
Even if you have become numb or blind to your own pain,
He sees your hearts.
He sees and knows your pain.
He knows the pain we are going through.
And He sees the tears flowing out of our hearts.
And He, and He alone, knows what to do with them.
So cast those cares upon the Lord.
Pour your soul out to Him.
He will sustain you. He will strengthen and help you. (Psalm 55:22)
He will sow those tears. Pour them out on the now fertile ground of your adversity. And it will, with time, reap a harvest of gladness, blessings, and joy!
Don’t let your sorrow be for nothing. Let God make you whole again by letting God take your weeping heart into a joyful one.
Let Him use these tears for a harvest of joy.
Let God “turn your mourning into dancing. Your sorrow into joy” (Psalm 30:11).
God promises you and I as we cry out to Him in truth that are:
“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5)
God promises in Isaiah 61:1-3:
“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, Because the LORD has anointed me To bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to captives And freedom to prisoners; To proclaim the favorable year of the LORD And the day of vengeance of our God; To comfort all who mourn, To grant those who mourn in Zion, Giving them a garland instead of ashes, The oil of gladness instead of mourning, The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting So they will be called oaks of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”
His Spirit will lift you up, heal you, and reestablish your soul again.
God says in Jeremiah 31:13,
“Then the virgin will rejoice in the dance, And the young men and the old, together, For I will turn their mourning into joy. And will comfort them and give them joy for their sorrow.”
“Truly, truly, I say to you, that you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice; you will grieve, but your grief will be turned into joy.
Have no fear. Your heart has been seen and heard before the Lord. He will mend those wounds. He will restore that soul. He will keep you and cleanse you from all your sin.
God is faithful.
He loves you.
So, the next time you pray, remember to pour your heart out to Him.
He will give you what you need and lead you to the wholeness you seek.
Lord, I ask you that pride come out of my heart now. Give me the strength and the courage to open up my heart to you. I ask you to help me to be vulnerable with you. Heal my broken heart and restore my soul. Thank you Lord for everything. Thank you. In Your Name I pray, amen.
I love you all,
God bless you,
It takes a strong man or woman to bow before The King. You don’t have to be ashamed anymore. Come before Him and ask Him today to heal your brokenness. He knows you and accepts you as you are.